Secrets.... Secrets... Secrets... When Does it end?
So they say that there should be no secrets in a relationship, but what exactly qualifies as secret here: your detailed past or the fact that you cheated on him when you both were going through a tough time in your relationship?
I strongly believe that couples should be open to each other in their relationship however, I do believe that some things about each other's previous relationship/past should remain in the past as sometimes if you reveal certain aspects of your life it may comes back to bite you. It doesn't matter how much you love and trust each other as long as it does not affect your present relationship it should just stay in the past.
But this is just wishful thinking right? Certainly we want to know everything about our partner's past. But do we really need to know every single detail? I don't think so. My Grandma always say "what you don't know won't hurt you". and she used to say to that we should "never open up our past relationship with our current spouse". But is not opening about certain details about your past causing a problem in your relations?
Guys I would like to hear what you think about this. Ladies tell me your stories if you have ever been in this situation.
Cheers!!!
7 comments:
Oh, my past is my past and not his business. I learnt that from my previous marriage. I dished out everything to that jerk and as soon as we had an argument he threw everything right back in my face.
Ladies take it from me i was married for 8 years, do not give details, if you don't give him bullets he cant shoot you.
Sad but its true.
Nice point Nikx, love your topics!
If it's something germane to the relationship, it's probably best to share. But anything outside of that is one's private business and a matter of discretion.
you are so right about that Nothingprofound. As long as it doesn't affect your spouse it is definitely a matter of discretion.
I don't care what she did in the past or which dude she hooked up with as long as it aint non of my brothers.. that would be kinda crazy.. But my shorta wanna know every single detail and I wont budge s she said am still hooked.. Aint nobody hooked. It just aint your business shorty
All valid points...
My take however is give enough details so they can know who their dealing with , so when you happen to come in contact with someone from your past or situation of your past it wont be a shock to your present partner.
Some people feel that they dont need to give information about there past, but i want to know certain things so i will share certain things, i do not want any one to make any decisions for me ....and can do that all on my own... example: if you were a thief i would like to know, if you were a player i would like to know, if you have ever cheated i would like to know, reasons why your past relationships did not work i would like to know etc... i want to know these things because they will help me to understand you better and to also avoid a repeat mistake, as i said i hate drama and dont want to wait until we are well involved to find out you use to do this or do that.
I want to know that while we are together if something comes up from your past i will know how to deal with it. If for any reason i introduce you to someone who wants to fill me in on your past nothing they say should affect me i should be like i know that...
same for my partner, if someone goes to him and try to tell him about my past he should be able to say, so what or i know that....
So once again, nothing is wrong with giving information about your past to your spouse, but is how you do it and what you say..
At the end of the day i appreciate honesty, whether i want to hear it or not,,,, funny but it will make me love u more....
Yea Anxious, I bet you're a female so you'll definitely act like my Shorty...Oh bwoy...Yáll Shoties think so much alike.
I know it's good to be honest..aint nobody lying. We just not dishing everything to yáll. If my shorty hears something about me and come and ask of course i gotta tell her but i aint gonna volunteer everything.
Sometimes when we do dish out everything you nag us for the rest of our life.. And yes you ladies know how to taunt us men.
I agree with you anxious, Honesty is good but withholding information is not really a lie in my book.
Jarett, i bet you are one of those boyfriends who make a lot of excuses..
1. I hate it when guys call their girlfriends shorty or bee.
2.Some information is best volunteered, you never know who from your past your spouse will met or knows.
3.men always say that women are nagging but on a real, nothing is more nagging than a man , especially if he is jealous or has a trust issues.
so yes i do agree with you withholding information is not lying, but finding out certain information from another source can seem that way.
But that's what the site is about expressing view and opinions.
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