How Do I Save My Relationship?

I have always believed in the theories of the “Better Good” and “The End justifies the means”. Therefore if I am placed in any situation where I have two choices A) walk away, or B) Stay and fight. Then I usually ask myself.

         “Why should I even bother? 

         Will the end result worth my time and effort? 

 So I want you to ask yourselves those two questions and if you can figure that it is worth your while then I say, you better fight with all you’ve got. This is one method you could try. I call it  "My TryGonometry". 

First I would like you to follow these few steps.

• Find the problem…  To fix a computer you first have to know what is wrong with it because you cannot change the keyboard hoping that you will see the input clearer on the monitor, so is it with a relationship. Therefore you need to ask yourself; what problems am I having in my relationship? I want you to draw up a table with four columns and amount of rows of your choice. In the first column I want you to write in the word Strengths, in the second column Weaknesses.  Once this is done you can positively move forward to the next step which is
• Analyzing the problem/s: By now you would realize if your weaknesses way outweigh the strengths or vice versa and most importantly is if your relationship is worth trying save. If it is not then pack your things and run!! However, if you think it is still worth it then I want you to take the next step with me which is Analyzing these relationship weaknesses.  So I want you to label the next column My Solutions. In this column I want you to write how you would want those problems to be resolved. After your have done that I want you to take the next step to saving your relationship thus bringing back the spice in your bedroom.

• Sharing your thoughts: To do this you have to be very careful and act wisely.  Always remember that respect goes a far way in any type of relationship. To share your thoughts on the relationship problems you need to chose the right place and the right time. Please do not just attack your partner about the relationship problems, that would only bring you more unsolicited problems and you do not need that. You may want to bring these up when both of you are cuddled in bed, or over a quiet private dinner etc. Just make sure it is somewhere cozy and mind settling. Then you need to know how to bring up the topic, after you bring it up find a way to show him your list and then you discuss calmly and respectfully. While discussing you need to:
•  
• Listen while your partner speaks:  please do not interrupt your spouse while he/she is talking. Make your notes if you need to then speak when it is your time. Also know that you should always give eye contact it is a common courtesy when someone is speaking to you, it show that you are actually interested even if you are not. This does not mean stare.
• Never shout when you feel you're being attacked: this may be difficult but if your partner need to lash out please allow it, then respond calmly and appropriately so that he knows you are trying to make a positive difference. When he is done shouting then you may want to add a forth column labeled “Our Solutions” so both of you can work on it together.

• Compromise:  This has always been a hard task in most relationships. Sometimes One individual may think that the compromise is one sided and that is not fair.  Only you can decide what is fair but to solve any problems there has to be some reasoned compromise.

• Bury the Past:  Please do not continue to bring up these problems in future confrontation because if you do then all the steps you just took would be for nothing. Learn to forgive and try to forget if you can because as we say,, No One Wants To be Alone or Live Miserable in a Relationship. Good Luck and look out for more Articles. In the mean time check out our scoop of the day!