Striking a balance between Kids and Love Life....

Many of us moms are most times caught up with the daily chores of motherhood and unfortunately we forget the role of being a wife to our husbands. The funny thing is that this transition sneaks up on us so fast that some times we don't even realize that our sex life is almost non existent. As a mom, I know that there are times when we caught even get the chance to have a bath longer than five minutes much less to think about sex.

I was talking to a friend of mine (who is also a new mom)some time ago and the conversation eventually lead on to her sex life. When I ask her about her sex life she was like " Sex? What Sex?" and we just laughed. Bu honestly this is not a joke, it i not healthy. Besides the last time I checked sex actually helps to relieve tension, stress and anxiety so you might wanna get your grove on every now and again.

So the question is "How do we strike a balance between kids and our sex- life? ". I believe hat there is no set answer for this question but i think that there are a few tips that can help the process and ultimately save our relationship!

Tips:

1. Share your true feelings with your partner. Let your partner know exactly how you fell and what he/ she can do to make you feel better.
2. Make a schedule for family time and stick to it.  This may be one of the hardest thing to do, but it works. Designate a time for you and the kids and then make the time for intimacy. 
3. Have Spontaneous Sex: I have mentioned this in my previous posts but I can stress it enough. These are the things that really help to spice up a relationship after kids.
4. Leave the chores for later or Share them: Moms, i know the first thing we want to think about when the kids are asleep are laundry, cleanup, dinner, and the list goes on.  But hey, try to see if hubby can help you with dinner or order in so you guys can get some alone time to burst some steam before they wake.
5. Send the kids to Grandma or Godma' for sleep over so that you guys can have some alone time to climb up the wall. 

Do remember guys that sex is extremely important in any relationship. Besides the more you practice the sweater and more perfect it gets! Wink! wink!

And guys.. Please remember that mommy needs time to rest too.. Don't be barking up her tree at 5am when she just put down the newborn to sleep and 3am.!!

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Financial Crisis Affecting Your relationship?

Bills! Bills! Bills!...Can You Pay My Bills?




Bills rolling in from all corners and still no job? Wow.. you are not alone.. There are thousands of us in that same position. But the big question is.. How Do We stop it from taking away the spice from our love life?


There is a saying that says 'It takes money to care'. In some essence it is true, if we are talking about buying gifts for our beaus or taking each other out to expensive restaurant and parties.. But at the end of the day the greatest gift that you will ever have in your relationship is LOVE. Along with LOVE comes UNDERSTANDING.

I know there are times when it is the man who is unemployed and for some reason all hell breaks loose. I assume that they think that their manhood is threatened if they cant provide for the family and prove to their friends and family that they are the "head of their household". But in cases like these the best thing to do in your relationship is to COMMUNICATE.

Remember Scoopers that good communication comes with good listening. I just want to share a few tips that may be helpful if you you want to keep the love alive through this temporary financial rough patch.

1. Communicate.... Please be honest to each other about your financial situation.
2. Plan realistic goals together:  Plan on ways to eliminate or consolidate some of the bills.. For example..One car instead of two, Home cook meals, Cheaper phone plan..etc.. etc.
3. Create a budget together: This will help in setting realistic goals and reaching them.
4. Share the bills-     Pool your resources together and share the bills so that the pressure is not just on one person. I must tell you ladies that some men actually like when we take charge of our business.. I also think it gives a oomph in the relationship.. 
5. Take a Time Out:  Do not spend all your time together worrying and discussing your financial problems. Take some quality time to remind each other of you love and committment to each other. Have some good sex and keep the spice alive in the relationship and your bedroom.

Cheers Scoopers!

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Wondering what's happening to my posts?

Hey Scoopers!

I'm Back! I do owe all of you readers my humblest apology. Due to circumstance beyond my control, I abandoned my blog for way too long! I miss the chats and the scoops! So I do promise to return with some new and exciting topics!

In the meantime, please feel to share your ideas on topics to scoop about and let's chat!  On the happy side I  would love to have guest bloggers, so if you are interested please feel free to hit me up!

Cheers!

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Falling out of love with your Beau?

So I was reading an article the other day with a lady who for some reason has fallen out of love with her husband of of 18years.. For a while I kept on saying "oh boy-life is so funny." ... But how does one "Fall out of Love?"I think it's simple and sometimes happen without one even noticing.

I always say that it's the little things that actually make a relationship work.

• Communication
• Honesty
• Understanding
• Compromise
• Appreciation
• Love, and last but not close to the least
• RESPECT. 

Along with these come the little perks that brings the smiles, giggles and of course the charm that will eventually spice up your bedroom life. As i said "little perks"which means you don't need to go out and spend off the grocery money to buy expensive gifts. Try showing the love by:

• Making time SEX (If not intercourse, please take part in a little foreplay)
• A kiss before you leave in the mornings/evenings for work
• A reminder text message to say "I Love You"or "You mean the World to me"
• A red lollipop for her when you get home from work.
• Cuddling to watch a movie at home.
• A funny handmade card made by you and the kids expressing your appreciation
• A colorful complement.eg.. "You look gorgeous in that dress honey.., Babe that suit was made just for you handsome!" Oh honey this dinner is super awesome'' If you get the picture.

But I must say Scoopers that a dull relationship will ultimately lead to a dull love. Suddenly you start being with each other because of the kids, or the convenience of having a partner (Oh I'm married).

Unfortunately as soon as we start taking these little things lightly then the relationship will start to get thirsty and the love will dry out, the attraction for each other will fade and so will everything else until you start asking yourselves..."How Did This Happen? Then you will be too late.

I know you have a lot to say so please go ahead and share your thoughts and advice to all of us Scoopers.

Cheers!
Nikx

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Bringing Back the Oomph in the BedRoom After Childbirth

Oomph? Yep, we mean Sex...and don't we all need a little of that to soothe our minds, soul and body after our little bundle of joy starts to take over our world? But how soon should we start to 'tangle' after such intimate, life changing event? Or how do we balance sex and child at the same time.. hmmm.. this could be tricky but if you want to keep that flame alive and hold on to your man then u better be ready to get ready.

As a mom I can attest to this being a difficult task with a crying, extremely demanding little bundle of joy and the after effects that childbirth physically and psychologically has on your life.

When to have start having sex after baby in partially up to you and your body but you may also want to include your practitioner. Growing up I was told to give your body at least 3 months to heal properly but after having my child I realized that it all depends on your body and every body and childbirth is different.

To get to the chase. If you are not exactly ready, your partner may not share the same sentiments after all he's a "guy"lol. So please do not neglect your partner's need for some sexual gratification.

There are so many things you could do to keep ignite the aflame.

• Cuddle with him: There is absolutely nothing wrong with just lying in bed together, cuddling,hugging, kissing and sharing baby stories, who knows this may just end up in something further to both your liking. 

• Do have Foreplay: I know time is hard to find sometimes but intercourse can be painful too especially for mother's who have had a cesarean or some may have been torn or slit...after all we are talking about the same parties involved in bringing forth your beautiful baby so yes guys, ease off a lil or take your time.

• Get Naughty: There is nothing wrong with a little naughtiness in your love life. As a matter of fact it is very important in your relationship. It helps to bring a little oomph to your love life.Strip tease him, sext him when he is at work, and as Heidi Murkoff says in 'What To Expect When You're Expecting' "' Try oral sex more often" it is less painful and very pleasurable.

• Do Quickies! With crazy days of exhaustion, crying fits, late night feedings, quickies may feel like heaven sometimes. It worked for Kimberly Ford, author of Hump: True Tales of Sex After Kids, who claims that even brief intimate episodes release frustration, leave her feeling closer to her husband, and keep the flame alive for future rolls in the hay. Surely this will not be forever, but for the first couple of months it will definitely work. 

• Kegel Exercise is also very important even after childbirth as stretched perineal muscles will likely cause intercourse and orgasm to be less pleasurable. 

Don't be surprised if you suddenly start noticing a lack of vaginal lubrication after giving birth. Reduced estrogen levels after pregnancy sometimes result in vaginal dryness, which can last up to 6 months. Surely this may cause some discomfort during sex. So in these cases you may want to try different vaginal lubricants or as I mentioned before, massage or oral sex is an alternative until you are more desirous. 

There are so many other simple things you can do but that may take me another post. In the meantime. Communicate with your partner, be honest with your feelings and continue to show your love and appreciation of each other.

Talk to you all soon.. and please feel free to share your tips on bringing back the Oomph in thr Bedroom after Childbirth.


Cheers!


Story also featured on www.jamaicanmommies.blogspot.com 
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Jealousy...The Damnations it may cause To your love life!

If you say that you have never been jealous at some point in your life or relationship, then I must say that you probably have never loved or been in love. I usually say that jealousy is inevitable. It happens in your family among sibling and parents..{you know like who is getting more attention or more allowance}. it happens in school with your friends and finally it happens in your relationship.

But is a little jealousy all that bad? I absolutely positively do not think so. I personally think that when I get a little jealous it only reminds me how much I am still crazy in love with my beau. But jealousy become a damnation to yourself, your partner and your relationship when it starts to control your mind and takes over your independent thinking ability.


When you realize that you are becoming extremely jealous, it means that there is a problem in your love life and you need to take drastic measures to correct it before it escalates. I know we sometimes suspect some "anky panky" with our spouse and instead of asking about it for clarification we start our little investigation. We search phones, wallets, secretly listen in on conversations, we even sometimes follow our partners our hire private investigators to record his/her activities.

All of this can be avoided sometimes with good communication and honesty. If you are the one suspicious of your partner let him know and talk about the reasons for your suspicions. If your partner is suspicious of you then as soon as you realize open up to your partner. I know guys have a way to get a kick out of tagging us along instead of just telling us the truth.

But I do hope that after you confront your partner he is truthful and you try to trust his words but if not then that's a different story all by it self.

Talk soon and do feel free to share your tips with us.
Nikx

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Ever Felt like Just Screaming?

Have you ever felt like your life is not really yours sometimes?
Have you ever felt like you want to crawl under a rock?
Have you ever felt like you are fighting a losing battle?
Have you ever felt like you can never do anything right?
Have you ever felt like you've just had enough?


If your answer is No then you are one lucky champ. In a relationship there are: Good days, Extremely good days, Sad days, Bad days, Not so bad days and 'I want to scream days'. Yea.. I know I am in a relationship and ladies you may agree that sometimes you just have to be a mother and wife for your man and child/children and it is just makes you want to hold your head and scream. Then there are other issues like bills, siblings, parents, in-laws, sex... and blah..blah..blah. Whoa!

Well the good thing is that these days don't usually last forever and it is good to know that it will be over soon.
As i always say God will never give me more than I can manage and i do try to use that to console myself when i feel a bit overwhelmed.

I am a woman, a mother, a girlfriend and I have been overwhelmed a number of times, but at the end of the day i realize that I have a beautiful family-my little girl who I love like no other, a spouse who loves me endlessly and a caring extended group of family and friends for support. So when I am down i try to think of the positives and Give God thanks for the blessing he has given to me.

But then there are others who do not have the support system they need, if you are one of them I advise you to find a channel to let out your anger, scream, cry, sing,write, dance, exercise, talk to the wall or talk to us here at My BedRoomScoop. Whatever you do, do not keep it in because that may lead to serious longterm depression.

Check out this weeks Video: According to you By Arianthi

Cheers Scoopers

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